I am a very busy person. I do a lot, but I do not have time to do the things I want to do. I want to learn how to knit and crochet, how to play the piano and paint a sunset, how to cook and eat healthy. I want to spend hours talking to my friends and family, and watching a movie and Netflix and reading a book and listening to music and podcasts, and going for a walk without having to rush home to finish the laundry. And meditation and yoga. And just sitting on the couch with a cup of tea thinking…nothing.
My days pass doing the same things again and again. Its work, household chores, which include cooking and picking up the house and laundry, and at least 40 minutes of walking. But what else?? I am supposed to be having a LOT of time now that my kids are grown and independent human beings.
Parkinson’s Law states that the amount of work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
It is true. I know I have the weekend to wash the laundry, so I keep delaying it till Sunday evening, which then becomes laundry time instead of relaxing with the family.
But more than that is the feeling that the hours and days pass away without me ‘growing‘ as a person. I feel I am the same person I was even five years ago. Is it because I think I know myself so well, I am bored with myself and feel stagnant?
And it is not that I don’t do all of the above things but it seems rushed, running against time.
Decide what you want , decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. H.L. Hunt
(Have you noticed, most of these famous quotes are by successful men, where were the women??)
Time in a day, in a life, is finite. And however many permutation-combinations one makes to fit everything, its next to impossible to do or experience all that the world has to offer.
You can have it all, just not all at once. Oprah Winfrey (There she is!!)
One has to make choices. And there is no way to predict which ones will make me happy later in life. I am not talking about serious, major life changing choices, no, just the simple ones.
Should I choose gardening or art? Should I watch the classics or the latest movies? Should I read thrillers or romance? Should I delve into Buddhism or Stoicism? Should I just skim the surface of my religion-Sikhism, by mindlessly reading the same passages of the scriptures day after day, or really go deeper into the meaning behind them? Should I learn Italian, French or Spanish? Should I learn the salsa or Bollywood bhangra?
See, so many choices! Sometimes I just freeze in the face of these choices not knowing where to start. There is an element of wondering whether what I am choosing to do is worthwhile? fun? will it make me happy?
And then, what is everyone else doing? How are they spending this precious time? Have they found the secret to lead a happy, fulfilled life which I don’t know of?
There is so much information available on the internet now. Different ways to do the same thing, each one easier than the last. And so many people, in the thousands, discussing how they did a particular activity. Google,’How to start a blog’ and one ends up with more than 5 million results! 5,750,000,000 hits! Can you believe that?
This is what I am thinking now. None of these activities is something I am expecting to be an expert in. I love watching movies but no, I have no inclination to discuss/criticize the director’s work with anyone.
I love reading, but I cannot analyze a book to save my life. I will never say to not read a book, because I don’t know what you will take from it. Some books, especially the series, like Lee Child’s Jack Reacher ones, are entirely for pleasure. Read and forget. They are my go-to books when I want something quick and low pressure to read. But A Gentleman in Moscow, by Amor Towles, amazing. What was amazing? I can’t explain, it was just a very gentle, elegant read.
So I am not going to be an expert on books, I am not doing a thesis in English Literature on the various classics, so why not just read whatever I want at any time, simply for pleasure, and not to gain anything from it.
I have started this blog, just because I wanted the experience to start one, and to have a place to sort out my very confused thoughts about this phase of my life.
Did you notice, this started as a post on how to find time to do what I want and morphed into what do I want to do?
Yes, I am no expert in writing blog posts.
Since I am not going to be an expert in anything, I can start any activity, for even a small amount of time and get the pleasure from it. The way to do it is not to focus on what I am getting from any particular activity apart from some satisfaction in that particular time.
Which gets us to the principle: The past is gone, never to return. No-one can predict what will happen in the future. What we have is the NOW. So do what makes you happy, now. Do what rocks your boat at this time in your life. After the laundry, of course.
Coming back to the original topic of this post, how to find time to do the things I want to do. I will explore that topic again one of these days.
Just look at this rosebud, isn’t it the prettiest pink? I saw it on one of my walks, I tell you, the best thing I do for myself is to walk everyday.