…is change.
A lot has happened in our household since my last post in February of this year.
My father in law passed on after a short two day stay in the hospital. He had been gradually getting worse since his earlier hospitalization in January. He stopped eating, speaking, engaging and on the last day at home he just did not move from the couch.
We took him to the hospital on Saturday afternoon and even as we were trying to arrange hospice care at home, he left us on that Monday.
He went the way he wanted, without being dependent on anybody, without interfering in anyone’s life.
We had the funeral that weekend and all his children and grandchildren were able to attend.
A week later we attended the Tea ceremony for my daughter at her in-laws house.
Six weeks later, in the last week of April we went to Italy for two weeks. It was a good trip.
And next week we go for my younger daughter’s graduation.
In the meantime, I have had a few house guests off and on. My parents are staying with my sister and I visit them almost everyday.
Life goes on. I miss my father in law, he had lived with us for almost six years. He had his own place on the couch and the dining table. He had his own routine of following the sun around the house, sitting in the sunshine wherever he could find it. He celebrated the start of the mango season, even as he complained that the mangoes here were not as flavorsome as in India.
He spent the whole day listening to Indian news, Pakistani cooking channels, European football, or is it soccer? The t.v. would be put on the highest volume along with him wearing the headphones to hear better!
I miss his political discussions with my husband, even though I would be irritated at the time. Every evening when my husband, his son, came from work, the house would be full of their back and forth about Indian and American politics, the abysmal performance of Indian cricketers, the economy tanking, the price of gas. Now the house is silent during the day and the evenings.
I am focusing more on my daily routine now. For the longest time I have wanted to live my days in a structured manner. Each activity to be done in a set time. I am not one for spontaneity or surprises. Though I loved the Mother’s day surprise visit by my younger daughter.
I wanted to be the person who walked in the morning and did yoga everyday. Who had ginger spice tea with her breakfast everyday. Who did laundry on Saturdays and grocery on Mondays. Who cooked delicious healthy meals every evening.
What I have realized is that it is smarter to change oneself according to the seasons, just like Mother Nature.
It is so hot and sunny in the mornings that I have had to shift my walks to the evenings. And because I have to walk in the evenings, I have to cook in the mornings. And sometimes when I have houseguests, I miss doing everything on my list. And that is okay. There is something nice to connect with family one has not met in years.
Each time I take a break from my routine, it takes me at least a week to get back to it.
But that is a part of life. And each time I get back to my routine after a break, I meet it like a friend, happy to find new colors in the same old activities.
How do you like to live your days, follow a routine or let the days unfold themselves?
Peonies from my garden.